Ken Shouldn't Beat Barbie and Barbie Shouldn't Beat Ken

Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. - Prophet Muhammad 

Countering Evil Eye

It is indeed true,

I hear the stigma

Called Evil Eye.

So brute, I sigh.

The ailing trauma

No dots, only coma.

I (eye) spy your health

Your wealth

Lather it with envy,

And lo behold!

I am so told

you have taken to bed

And buried in debt.

Evil eye is “the look that supposedly causes harm”. The fear of the evil eye is present in all societies. And the props to protect oneself from the afflictions of  evil eye are numerous. The Indian subcontinent is deep in belief in nazr (evil eye). Lime , chili, salt and other condiments are” prayed upon” and then circled around the traumatized person’s body – head to toe. The mixture is then burnt and the soot buried. The performer of the ritual then claims money for the “cure” performed.

Novelty stores across the world sell beady eye bracelets and Hand of Fatima amulets amongst other crafty items. As a means of adornment they may be acceptable but consciously or subconsciously entrusting the protection of our lives and good fortune in flimsy elements is nothing but idolatry and in bad taste.

Evil eye is a fact mentioned in the Quran in Surah Al-Qalam verse 51, “And those who disbelieve would almost trip thee up with their eyes.”

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said “The effect of an evil eye is a fact.”(Bukhari)

It is normal to harbor feelings of jealousy and envy at the good fortune of another. Evil eye is like a two way sword as it may cause harm to befall upon us or on the other person who possesses the thing of our desire. These are of course normal human feelings which are invoked in us intentionally or unintentionally. But we must curb them in an effective manner.

The Holy Prophet used to place his grandchildren Hasan and Hussain under Allah’s protection by saying, “I commend you two to the protection of Allah’s perfect words from every devil, every poisonous reptile and every evil eye.”

There is nothing more powerful than a verse from the Quran or a dua prescribed by the Holy Prophet to seek protection from evil eye. It is a good habit to recite Surah An–Naas regularly. It should  always be remembered that there is no greater force that Allah (swt) and that evil too is a part of his vast domain. All power rests in the hands of Allah (swt) and He alone has monopoly over all matters. If we like something that belongs to another it is best ask Allah (swt) to bless the person and say Maasha Allah, meaning it is Allah(swt) alone that has willed it to be so good. With so powerful an expression we project ourselves as a well wisher and most importantly protect ourselves as well as the other soul from the vicious effects of evil eye.

Did You “Shura” Today?

Consultation, be it in the medical, law or corporate arena is a billion dollar industry. But did you know that the Quran has prescribed mutual consultation for conducting our daily affairs?

Shura means mutual consultation. Miscommunications, disagreements, misunderstandings are part and parcel of everyday life. They can be taken care of by shura. Shura is for surety. So why not try it for the smallest institution you know of: your family? Sometimes our best therapists are simply the ones around us, those who know us well.

 “…consult them in the affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).” (Quran, Chapter 3. Verse 159)

So try it: shura with your spouse, kids and parents. It is a good chance to practice not just communication skills but also active and patient listening skills.

 Shura is not limited to the family alone. Sometimes we may need to consult our neighbors and colleagues in reference to a task at hand. Always remember there is no compulsion in Islam. Enjoy the dialogue and the resultant hearty conversation. Simple is the idea of council but a crucial building block of not just nations but families too.

Prayer for Guidance - Al Istikharah

There are times in our lives we may feel confused about a decision. Consultation may bring forth ideas, but certain situations may still leave us feeling indecisive and hesitant. Wavering can be a very uncomfortable feeling.

The prayer for guidance, Al Istikharah, was instructed by Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). It is a beautiful prayer where one calls upon The Creator and seeks His counsel.

Oh Allah, I seek Your counsel by Your knowledge and I seek Your assistance by Your power and I ask You from Your immense favor, for verily You are able while I am not, and verily You know while I do not, and You are the knower of the Unseen. O Allah, if You know this affair ( mention affair here ) to be good for me in relation to my religion, my life and aftermath, my present and future, then decree it and facilitate it for me, and bless me with it, and if You know this affair to be ill for me concerning my religion, my life and end, my present and future, then remove it from me and remove me from it, and decree for me what is good, whatever it may be, and make me satisfied with it.

Follow this prayer with a decision that you are inclined to, and be assured that you sought counsel with not just your near and dear ones but also with The Provider who is nearer to you “than your jugular vein.”

Consult, decide and trust. Make a decision with peacefulness and assurance that all those who mattered, including God has been consulted.

Queenly Treatment of Women – A Law?

A regular topic in women’s magazines, talk shows, and health and parenting magazines is the self-neglect of women. Most often the point that is stressed is that women as hardworking as they are need to put themselves first. That women need to take care of themselves and a healthy dose of self pampering and selfishness is necessary. It is indeed true, given the stress of everyday lives. Add to it circumstances of postpartum, menopause, or pre and post menstrual periods. Often the example of the airplane oxygen mask is given where travelers are advised to put the mask on themselves first before attending to children or others. As rampant as this advice is, for most women an element of guilt always accompanies the self indulgency.

The religion of Islam contrary to popular belief and practice pampers the woman with many rights. Some of the God given rights of a  muslim are woman  are testification in court, pursual of education, earn, marry, divorce, gain custody of children amongst many other rights including but not limited to the right to good conduct from her husband. Little known is the fact that Islam grants the woman civil, political, social and economic rights.

Financial Obligations of a Muslim Woman – None!

The Quran says,”…to men is allotted what they earn, and to women what they earn…” (4:32).

 A Muslim woman has complete rights over their property: inheritance, gifts or earnings. She may choose to use her property as she pleases. If she does wish to spend on her family, she may do so although she is not obliged to. 

The Quran says, "And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer" (4:4)

The responsibility of providing for the family falls on the shoulders of the man. The man is obliged for the upkeep of his wife and children.

The Quran says, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” (4:34)

 and

 “And it is on the father - to him their food and their clothing with fairness” (2:233).

This frees up the woman in terms of finance. So what do you do with the money? How many times have you come across something and wondered, “I wish I could buy that” or “If I had a little bit more, I would help.” With complete control over your money you could spend, save, invest or give; whatever be on your mind: be it chocolates, cars, or charity!